I had my first chemotherapy infusion on Thursday. Since then, I’ve felt like a walking zombie.   I’ve been trying to control the nausea, and doing a pretty good job. However, the nausea meds are giving me headaches and causing constipation. I’m starting to have a few bone pains from the Neulasta shot. Everything tastes like metal and I have no urge to eat, but I have to eat or I get sick. On top of all of that, I can’t think straight.

I feel like I’m in a fog and can’t focus on any one thing.  The morning seem to be the best for me and I am trying to get what I can done during those times when I’m with it.  Thankfully, I have a great husband who is helping out with everything during this strange time. I’m not sure how things will be from here on out, but I’ve heard they get worse.

I can’t imagine my brain going any crazier. I’ve found comfort in watching the Kardashians and Property Virgins. I’m having a difficult time following a conversation, so frequent commercial breaks really help. I know that all of this will pass. I realize this is a temporary ailment. I know it is going to get worse before it gets better. I’m prepared to be even more tired and more nauseated.

HOWEVER, I want to beat cancer. I want to live a long life with my family. So, I’ll keep accepting the transfusions. I’ll wash my hands 20 times a day and be careful about where I go while my immune system is low. I’ll take the brain fog and try to make everyone think I’m just eccentric. At least the kids don’t realize I’ve lost my mind, they just think I like naps  A LOT.